It makes perfect sense. If I don’t make plans with you, I’m sure not to disappoint.
I’m pulling my punches and trying not to telegraph my frustration and self-doubt. Why am I so bad at this?
I went to a wedding today. Someone said, “My advice about marriage: You’ll have the same fights over and over again. You should number them so you can skip straight to the forgiveness part.”
Marriage, in this instance, is a handy metaphor for being human. Staging the same conversations with myself in order to vivisect and catalogue the myriad small wages in which I am damaged seems futile and trite. Sadly, I still engage in that sort of unproductive internal dialogue from time to time.
If I love you, I love you always. Please forgive me for my my social transgressions and minor neuroses. I can’t quite bring myself to reach out to anyone just yet but I’m working on it.
29/11/2009 at 4:11 pm Permalink
“If you don’t expect too much from me, you might not be let down”
-The Gin Blossoms