In honor of National Coming-Out Week I wanted to let everyone know that I’m a lesbian.
I’m sure you’re all shocked. Just kidding. My Official Coming-Out Week suggestion entails extending the generally accepted definitions of non-hetero identies past the lgbtqssalphabetfuckingsoup paradigm. Here are a few suggestions to (post)modernize our collective queer vernacular.
Skittle - slang. Noun. A bicurious person, i.e., someone who wants to “taste the rainbow.”
A friend of mine, whom I’ve long suspected of Skittlehood came up with another candy-coated queer metaphor.
Starburst - slang. noun. A person who is post-bicurious, but pre-queer-identified.
As in, “I’ve already tasted the rainbow. The juice is loose.”
I wouldn’t presume to label another person’s sexual identity, but methinks Lindsay Lohan might find her experience reflective of the skittle-yield-starburst paradigm.
22/11/2008 at 12:13 am Permalink
Last I read, when she was asked if she was gay, she said something to the effect of wanting to avoid labels, and being very happy with who she’s with.
Which made me think, “Y’ghey,” but is also probably reflective of a Starburst sexuality mode.
(Assuredly, someone is going to come along and critique the Skittle/Starburst classifications as enforcing yet another structure upon sexuality, particularly women’s sexuality, in addition to commodifying it, very literally, through reference to corporate branding.
Hawt, delicious corporate branding.)
((Oh, look, I think that someone is me.))
22/11/2008 at 2:21 am Permalink
Men can be skittles too. I purposefully utilized neutral language in order to avoid gendering the skittle metaphor.
I was mostly kidding about the revolutionary nature of the “skittle” paradigm, but you have a point about the less than radical nature of corporate branding. There is so much baggage surrounding the “bicurious” label, and bisexual identities in general. The question is, will changing the label enable a concurrent paradigm shift, or will the word “skittle” come to be reviled? I think that “skittle” implies more playfulness than the sort of implicit “confused gay” meaning implied by “bicurious.” Wouldn’t it be beneficial to construct our sexualities as more playful and fluid?