anthurium

I feel that I have learned much more from this project in two months than I expected.

Were it possible to live only in the worlds we construct with shared meanings between like-minded folk, everything would be peachyfuckingkeen. Unfortunately, we all bump up against the Dominant Paradigm Of Mainstream Culture, which seems to be continually poised to take a dump on our collective faces.

I’m gaining skill at negotiating the nuances of understanding between the worlds I inhabit. Somehow, I never before sussed that socializing is a game, a giant game, the most human of games. There are rules. Unless there is an actual relationship of some sort between the two people who are trying to communicate, attempting to make each interaction between others into a Deep And Meaningful One is an exercise in futility.

I have gained confidence in my own beauty at more than a shallow level. Although feeling beautiful is an important step, I sense more imminent changes will follow shortly in my schema of how the world works.

It’s amusing how something so silly and self-indulgent as posting pictures of myself can change my feelings. Really, the crappy ones were much more of a learning experience than the good ones. I advocate that others should try this experiment, or something like it, but I no longer feel the need to continue with it. (Obviously. Hence the title.) Furthermore, the pictures were becoming repetitive, which was starting to chafe my artistic side. Goofy face, smiley face, unflattering face, repeat ad nauseum.

To be acquainted with me is to understand that dispensing with rambling is not in my nature. I’m not terminating my relationship with this blog; I’m merely renegotiating it. (I’m sure you were really worried and that your life just wouldn’t be the same without my incoherent musings.)

All metasnarkiness aside, thank you to everyone who supported me in this endeavor and everything else.

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